One of the great things I’ve experienced, as a result of having painted for several years, is how painting evolves from being a hobby to something that just becomes a part of you.
It sounds a bit cheesy, I know, but the ability to paint just for fun is something that I’ve just recently started to experience.
During the first years, when I started out painting, I was obsessed with learning.
Which was a good thing.
But there were endless of mediums and techniques to explore.
So it became almost a race towards finding my own style and my own thing.
I needed to produce great, unique paintings to prove to the world that I was worthy having this as a hobby.
Only then could I step up, and own it.
And I genuinely though that people would care, and have lots of opinions about it.
After a while, when I’d learned a few tricks and skills, I became obsessed with the need of making every painting a masterpiece.
Or, rather, the fear of losing my skills and confidence.
If I made a good painting, I was on top of the world.
If I made a really bad one, I was on the brink of crying.
Because I’d let myself down.
But I never got to make a great painting, because my ambitions were way too high for my abilities.
When I realized that my ambitions were way too high, though, I started to see great things in old paintings I’d thrown away.
Things I’m now quite proud of being able to produce in my early painting years.
Some even got a frame, after years of neglect.
Because they’re not good enough to hang in a gallery.
But they’re good enough for me.
I’ve realized that it never was about getting as good as possible.
Even though I’ll probably always keep reaching.
It was never about learning the greatest techniques, or working with the coolest mediums.
It was about taking something from the inside at getting it out through my brushes.
About finding a purpose and joy in doing something I love.
And to use all of this to make the inside feel a bit lighter when I needed to get something off my chest.
Because I was never a good talker.
So this is what I’ve painted for this post.
It is absolutely nothing to talk about.
But it’s everything to paint.
Really enjoyed reading this, thank you, and it is so meaningful.
Thank you, Sarah! I’m so glad you did. It’s a special post for me, and something I needed to get out 🙂
I can relate to it in some ways. Especially about trying to find an identity as an artist.
That sure is a struggle 🙂
Love your honesty, art is whatever anyone looking at it feel individually. Some of what I thought were bad painting were loved by others. I honestly love your work and I’ve enjoyed watching your journey and development. I’m finding that a true artist grows all the time developing more and more skills. Keep giving us more Kim x
Thank you so much, Elaine 🙂 I’m so glad to have you along for the ride. I feel very lucky to have found something that I truly love doing, and to have so many lovely people taking an interest in it 🙂
Your welcome Kim, have a great day
“taking something from the inside and getting it out through my brushes” You’ve crystalized the need to paint with these few words. Thank you,
Thank you so much, Laura! That’s such a lovely message to get 🙂
Oh this is so well said! I felt every word of it, it hit home…
That makes me so happy, Helen 🙂 The words just poured out of me while writing this post. It felt like something straight from my heart 🙂
Hi, this post really resonated with me. I think you’ve captured something that a lot of us feel. J
Thank you, Julie! I’m so glad you think so 🙂 It’s a demanding journey. But I love it.
It`s interesting to read how other people feel about their art. Where it all began, and what they have learned. Thank you.
Thank you for reading it! I think I needed to let all of this out as well, through writing in this case. At least it felt good to let it out 🙂